• Study as if you were going to live forever, live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
  • The more languages you know, the more times you are a human.
  • Teachers plant seeds of knowledge that will last forever.
  • Knowledge in youth is wisdom in age.
  • Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
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Английские шутки

A day without laughter is a day wasted... :)

What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he can always eat.
If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?"
When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school. "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
The First 3 Years of Marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.